Who am I?

Who am I?

That is a very broad question.

Who am I?

Does there have to be an answer? After all, we are more than just ONE thing defining us. 

We all want to be unique, yet we are so quick to want to fit ourselves into categories so that we may belong or so that we have definition to our identity. Categories help us to avoid the question.

Does anyone truly know who they are?

If they do, it may only be for a second. As we are always changing, always evolving. 

If you had asked me who I was a year ago, opposed to the present, the answers wouldn’t have been similar. In fact, they may have even been opposite. 

That is crazy. That is terrifying. 

That is amazing. That is unsettling. That is incredible.

To grow is a scary, yet beautiful thing. Why is the process a perfect oxymoron? Does the process ever end? Does anyone ever stop growing? No.

No, because that would be boring. It wouldn’t make for good story-telling.

So, what is your story?

My story has been greatly defined by the relationships I’ve had in my life. Some may define me as a serial monogamist. As a result from being in a relationship since becoming a teenager- my identity was lost… or maybe, it was never created. 

So, how do you create yourself at 28 years old? [Start a blog.]

The single, most important lesson I learned in counseling this past year is to remove the word “should” from my vocabulary. 

I “should” go to the gym. I “should” save money. 

I “should” go to church. I “should” smile.

“I should” go to my friend’s bachelorette (even though I can’t afford it).

I “should” be married. I “should” have my masters.

Says who?

Who said you should?

No one. The answer is no one. 

Sure, everyone has an opinion. I’m sure that every person reading this has their opinion of how I “should” start to create myself. I’m sure that everyone also has an opinion of where I might have went wrong in my life.

But did I go wrong? I genuinely was undoubtedly myself and gave everything the best that I had, at those times. You never went wrong. If anything, you ended up going right.

I am a 28 year old. 

I am independent. 

I am strong.

I am lost. 

I am not okay.

I am okay.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am a fur mama.

I am a special education teacher.

I am a graduate student.

I am a college sorority advisor. 

I am a singer.

I am a boxer.

I am a small business owner.

I am an independent consultant.

I am a CBD advocate. 

I am a wine connoisseur.

I am a dreamer.

I am a realist.

I am a homeowner.

I am a friend. 

I am a wanna-be chef.

I am a moon-lover.

I am a traveler. 

I am a learner.

I am resilient.

I am me.

So, who am I?

Honestly, I really don’t know. But, I have embarked on a journey of self-discovery to try and find out. This journey began with jumping out of a plane! 

I don’t ever anticipate the journey to stop. I plan to evolve with the time instead of running out of time. 

Who am I? 

Well, who do you want me to be?

The best question of them all is, who do I want to be?

XO, A